During dinner, Mr. Bennet scarcely spoke at all; but when the
servants were withdrawn, he thought it time to have some conversation
with his guest, and therefore started a subject in which he expected him
to shine, by observing that he seemed very fortunate in his patroness.
Lady Catherine de Bourgh's attention to his wishes, and consideration
for his comfort, appeared very remarkable. Mr. Bennet could not have
chosen better. Mr. Collins was eloquent in her praise. The subject
elevated him to more than usual solemnity of manner, and with a most
important aspect he protested that "he had never in his life witnessed
such behaviour in a person of rank--such affability and condescension,
as he had himself experienced from Lady Catherine. She had been
graciously pleased to approve of both of the discourses which he had
already had the honour of preaching before her. She had also asked him
twice to dine at Rosings, and had sent for him only the Saturday before,
to make up her pool of quadrille in the evening. Lady Catherine was
reckoned proud by many people he knew, but _he_ had never seen anything
but affability in her. She had always spoken to him as she would to any
other gentleman; she made not the smallest objection to his joining in
the society of the neighbourhood nor to his leaving the parish
occasionally for a week or two, to visit his relations. She had even
condescended to advise him to marry as soon as he could, provided he
chose with discretion; and had once paid him a visit in his humble
parsonage, where she had perfectly approved all the alterations he had
been making, and had even vouchsafed to suggest some herself--some
shelves in the closet upstairs."
"That is all very proper and
civil, I am sure," said Mrs. Bennet, "and I dare say she is a very
agreeable woman. It is a pity that great ladies in general are not more
like her. Does she live near you, sir?"
"The garden in which stands my humble abode is separated only by a lane from Rosings Park, her ladyship's residence."
"I think you said she was a widow, sir? Has she any family?"
"She has only one daughter, the heiress of Rosings, and of very extensive property."
"Ah!"
said Mrs. Bennet, shaking her head, "then she is better off than many
girls. And what sort of young lady is she? Is she handsome?"
"She
is a most charming young lady indeed. Lady Catherine herself says that,
in point of true beauty, Miss de Bourgh is far superior to the
handsomest of her sex, because there is that in her features which marks
the young lady of distinguished birth. She is unfortunately of a sickly
constitution, which has prevented her from making that progress in many
accomplishments which she could not have otherwise failed of, as I am
informed by the lady who superintended her education, and who still
resides with them. But she is perfectly amiable, and often condescends
to drive by my humble abode in her little phaeton and ponies."
"Has she been presented? I do not remember her name among the ladies at court."
"Her
indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her being in town; and
by that means, as I told Lady Catherine one day, has deprived the
British court of its brightest ornaments. Her ladyship seemed pleased
with the idea; and you may imagine that I am happy on every occasion to
offer those little delicate compliments which are always acceptable to
ladies. I have more than once observed to Lady Catherine, that her
charming daughter seemed born to be a duchess, and that the most
elevated rank, instead of giving her consequence, would be adorned by
her. These are the kind of little things which please her ladyship, and
it is a sort of attention which I conceive myself peculiarly bound to
pay."
"You judge very properly," said Mr. Bennet, "and it is happy
for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I
ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the
moment, or are the result of previous study?"
"They arise chiefly
from what is passing at the time, and though I sometimes amuse myself
with suggesting and arranging such little elegant compliments as may be
adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give them as unstudied
an air as possible."
Mr. Bennet's expectations were fully
answered. His cousin was as absurd as he had hoped, and he listened to
him with the keenest enjoyment, maintaining at the same time the most
resolute composure of countenance, and, except in an occasional glance
at Elizabeth, requiring no partner in his pleasure.
By tea-time,
however, the dose had been enough, and Mr. Bennet was glad to take his
guest into the drawing-room again, and, when tea was over, glad to
invite him to read aloud to the ladies. Mr. Collins readily assented,
and a book was produced; but, on beholding it (for everything announced
it to be from a circulating library), he started back, and begging
pardon, protested that he never read novels. Kitty stared at him, and
Lydia exclaimed. Other books were produced, and after some deliberation
he chose Fordyce's Sermons. Lydia gaped as he opened the volume, and
before he had, with very monotonous solemnity, read three pages, she
interrupted him with:
"Do you know, mamma, that my uncle Phillips
talks of turning away Richard; and if he does, Colonel Forster will hire
him. My aunt told me so herself on Saturday. I shall walk to Meryton
to-morrow to hear more about it, and to ask when Mr. Denny comes back
from town."
Lydia was bid by her two eldest sisters to hold her tongue; but Mr. Collins, much offended, laid aside his book, and said:
"I
have often observed how little young ladies are interested by books of a
serious stamp, though written solely for their benefit. It amazes me, I
confess; for, certainly, there can be nothing so advantageous to them
as instruction. But I will no longer importune my young cousin."
Then
turning to Mr. Bennet, he offered himself as his antagonist at
backgammon. Mr. Bennet accepted the challenge, observing that he acted
very wisely in leaving the girls to their own trifling amusements. Mrs.
Bennet and her daughters apologised most civilly for Lydia's
interruption, and promised that it should not occur again, if he would
resume his book; but Mr. Collins, after assuring them that he bore his
young cousin no ill-will, and should never resent her behaviour as any
affront, seated himself at another table with Mr. Bennet, and prepared
for backgammon. _